For some, change is embraced and even welcomed. For others, it can be a struggle to accept change even if it turns out for the best in the end. I would say that I started out somewhere in the middle but as I get older, I am beginning to welcome change with open arms.
That feeling of doubt and uncertainty is still there, but I am learning to push through it and have a plan in place because change is going to happen whether I like it or not. Part of the reason I welcome change now more than I did in the past is because even in my short time on this earth, I have gone through life experiences and come out the other side stronger and wiser than before. You go through enough of these experiences as you get older and older, you realize a few things:
- Life goes on
- No one will care more than you do about your life…so you better start to care more
- It could be worse
- Someone will always have it worse than you
- Someone will always have it better than you
So I am thankful for the good and bad experiences that I have gone through. They have made me wiser and more welcoming of change.
Only keep people in your life that build you up and make you grow as a person
You know when you are in grade school and you think life revolves around you? Most people in grade school don’t have major milestones they want to achieve, at least until they get to grade 11 and 12 and post-secondary admissions becomes all the rage. Time is endless. You feel like the friends you have then will be with you forever and you will always remain young.
Fast forward to 30 years old and you still feel young, but time and achieving certain milestones in your life move to the forefront of your mind. Are you married? Do you own a house? Do you have kids? Do you have the thriving career that you love that pays you well? etc.
Now this is not to say that you would have all of these milestones achieved by 30, but it does shift your mindset to focus on the people and activities that will help you achieve your milestones/goals, whatever those may be. You no longer feel the need to waste time in a relationship that is going nowhere, if your desire is to get married/settle down. You don’t keep friends around that do not support your dream/career choice because your 30 and your focused on getting to where you want to be…wherever that may be for you.
I think that is a good thing. Some people may experience the need to only surround themselves with people that make them grow and are a positive influence in their life sooner than other people, but we all get there at one point in our lives.
Treasure your time off with family and friends
The good thing about being a full time student during the school year is that you get opportunities to hang out with friends in between classes, on weekends (when you are not working) and school breaks like the summer or spring break.
Now that I a work full time, I will be lucky if I can spend 2 hours a week with a good friend. It gets even trickier because I am married, and so are most of my friends. Plus, some of them are having kids now so arranging a time to hang out is next to impossible.
I miss the days when you can just call up your girlfriend to hangout and spend the whole day laughing, chatting up a storm or just being silly. Now the hangouts still happen, but sparingly and on short notice. I have learned its best to not cancel or reschedule because it may be a while before another hang out happens.
Your metabolism will go down…so watch what you eat
When I was in university I use to be able to eat 8 slices of pizza in one sitting. Amazingly, I never had to worry about weight gain or feeling unfit. I was 100-110 pounds and 5 feet 5 inches throughout all of my university years. My friends use to nick name me the ‘black hole’ because I could consume so much food for a petite person but it would never show on my body. My metabolism was off the charts.
Well when I turned 30, two things happened: my metabolism went down a bit so I can probably now have 4-5 pizzas in one sitting, and I also realized that there are consequences to consuming that much food…you gain weight. Shocking.
Although I am still a very healthy weight now at 120 pounds and 5 feet 5 inches. I am a lot more careful about what I consume, and how much of it. I don’t think I can eat 8 pizzas in one sitting now, even if I tried, but the big difference is…I don’t think I would want to.
Don’t compare yourself to others, just yourself
This piggy backs on the whole setting milestones for yourself and wanting to achieve them as you approach 30 and on. Whether you have achieved these goals or not, comparing yourself to others will either make you feel demotivated, angry and even resentful, or happy, complacent and not wanting to change.
I think its important to learn and be motivated by those that have done well in areas that one struggles with, but never to compare their progress with yours. We all have different talents and abilities. We were all brought up in different environments with some having more advantages than others. This all does not matter in the end because it won’t change anything.
Instead strive to compare your ‘current self’ with your ‘past self’ and see whether you have improved year after year. Not comparing myself with others was something I struggled with doing for a while but I am beginning to change this as I get older. Focusing on how I have improved in different areas of my life from 2015 to 2016 is how I evaluate success in my life.